OUCH!

You may have read the first post about Mom, Sis and I learning how to snow ski.  If you haven't you may want to start there first.  This time Mom, Sis and I are in Gatlinburg, TN.

Sitting in our cabin on a mountain, waiting for bears to come eat us, we tried to come up with a game plan for the day.  We all had different ideas about what we should do...Mom: Shopping, Sis: Titanic Museum, Me: Zip Lining.  No matter what I said, how I begged and threatened, they refused to go with me.  They'll try skiing, not zipping?  That should have been my first clue. 

My sister hops out at the museum with a "Good luck!".  Mom is dropped off at the vacation must shop store, TJ Maxx, with an "I should have dropped you off.  That way when you're broken body is laying somewhere on a mountain side Sis and I could have the car to make it back to the cabin."  Thanks Mom!  I'm determined to "zip".  I'm looking forward to a new adventure.  I'm....there.  I get out of the vehicle as a woman goes screaming down a line in the air.  My second clue?

I'm still excited but, now serious nervousness has set in.  My group starts getting gear on with the help of our two guides.  Harness: check.  Helmet: check. Gloves: check.  At 47 years old, I am by far the oldest of the group.  The youngest, an 18 year old, young woman, and I pair up.  The other six people with us are in their early to mid twenties and are friends.  They also have experience.  My new young friend and I don't.  I'm still doing well though...until the hair raising ride up the side of a mountain in an open, souped-up type of golf cart.  I'm going to die and I'm still on the ground!  Our driver got distracted by a squirrel just as he needed to turn or fall over the side of the mountain.  Luckily for all of us on board, I can be rather vocal when scared.  "Turn, dammit, turn!"  is effective, especially when screamed by a large, scared woman who is sitting on the side of the cart that is staring down the mountain side.  My young partner, when she's able to breath again, quietly thanks me. 

At the top we listen to the guides explain safety and stopping procedures.  Well, I tried to listen.  I'm busy staring at the first line we are to zip.  Excitement?  Nope.  Scared?  Yep.  Rethinking this whole situation?  Hell yes!  The ONLY thing stopping me from calling this whole thing off is that I told so many people at home I was going to "zip".  I couldn't go back without trying it.  Death before dishonor.  Screw that.  I tell one of the guides I'm not going.  Call the driver back to get me.  I should have said it quietly...now the young woman is rethinking possible death.  Crap!  Now I feel bad and agree to try the first line (out of 6 for over 2000' of zipping).  Up the first tower we go.  My young friend goes first.  Dang!  She looks like a pro!  Next up...me.  I get snapped on to the lines (double lines for safety) and push off.  About 1/2 way down, when I should start slowing down, I realize I didn't hear a word that was said about how to stop.  Double damn.  I did hear the loud BANG as I slammed in to the metal tower.  I was in pain, my right leg injured, but I was stopped.  Effective yet, not what anyone, by any standard could call graceful.  When determined I was not seriously injured, everyone laughed rather longer than I felt was necessary.  I, on the other hand, was determined to get the hell off of that tower and walk back if I had too.  Third clue, I'm out.

One of the guides tells me that I need to do better on the next line, because the third is very fast.  If I can't master stopping by then he will have to tandem me.  The threats, curses and crying stop before they start.  The pain...what pain?  This 30 (+/-) year old man is hot!  And if I screw up again he is going to tether his body to mine?  I am 47, soon to be 48, and will probably never hold a body like that against mine again.  Okay, I'm giving this another shot.  Snap, snap, push off.  Crap!  I've mastered stopping.  I've come to a complete halt about 20' from the next tower.  I hand over hand until I reach it.  The guide (and everyone) cheers for me.  I think he was relieved he didn't have to tandem.  I'm crying on the inside for the chance I've lost and the PAIN that has resumed. 

I finish the last four lines.  And, I do it in style.  On the side by side race lines I blew my opponent away.  I can land on my feet, on the tower, without assistance from the guide.  I can go as slow or fast as I want AND stop when needed.  I'm limping and badly bruised.  I am laughing my fool head off.  As we climbed back into the souped-up cart to head back the guide throws his arm around me and says, "See?  We slam you in to one tower and you turn into a professional.  Fast learner..."  No, not really.  Because I want to zip again!

Smoky Mountains

I'm too tired to post a story.  But, here are some photos I took of the Smoky Mountains... the setting of my next adventure.