The Campaign Starts

Once upon at time....on a dark & stormy night...

Actually, it was a cold, snowy day when my 60+ year old mom decided it was time for her to learn how to snow ski.  And, somehow that meant I was going to learn how to ski too.  She had always wanted to try it.... I hadn't!  I'm more of an easy chair, feet propped up on the ottoman next to a fireplace kind of gal.  But, what mom wants, mom gets.  Now you would think living in Illinois that the skiing opportunities would be, well, non-existent.  You, and I, would be wrong.  There is a rather popular, well-known place just two hours from my home.  Who knew?  It seems I was the only one that hadn't....

So, off to this wonderful (yeah right), popular (I dislike crowds) snow skiing (brrrr cold) place that was going to teach my mom, sister and me how to be injured...I mean skiers.   Yes, we took my sister.  If I'm going down I'm taking every person I can talk into it down with me!  

Now picture this:  A tall, athletic, attractive woman standing at the top of a high, mountainous slope with her poles set, skis pointing downhill, crouching until pushing off and gliding elegantly downhill.  Sigh... that was our instructor and it was the bunny slope, but damn she made it look fun and easy.  I hated her.  Now picture this:  three chubby women (30, 40+, 60+ years of age) standing at the top of that same bunny slope going "what are we doing here?".  Mom, God love her, sucks it up and becomes the Olympic athlete from hell!  She raises up on her toes, slams back down, thrusts the poles into the snow and TAKES OFF.  She goes so fast she zooms by the instructor, who with a startled look goes chasing after her.  Mom had been so nervous & excited through the verbal instruction the only piece of advice she can remember is "if you can't slow down or stop, fall over".  Plop...she has that down pat. 

My sister and I had been horrified, then highly amused during the Mom Olympic event.  But, then we looked at each other and realized one of us had to go next.  I wisely stepped back and said "Good luck."  My sister was amazing....she went about 20 feet, stopped, threw her hands in the air and proclaimed victory.  Then looked at me with a smug smile and said, "NEXT!".  Of course now I HAVE to outdo my little sister...

I slowly make my way to the edge of the bunny slope precipice... close my eyes...push off... and... What?...I can't believe it.. this is fun...who knew?...  I'm actually skiing!  It didn't all go smoothly for me.  It seems I had a tendency to go to the right...and keep going to the right.  The instructor finally gave up on trying to get me to go straight and just had me get to the far left of the slope.  Smart woman... her, not me.

Mom & Sis take a few more turns on the bunny slope.  The instructor talks me into trying the advanced bunny.  After 4 or 5 runs on it I call it a day too.  While I'll probably never ski again... I did it.  I enjoyed it.  And, it was the start of my Memories are for Wimps campaign.