You may have read the first post about Mom, Sis and I learning how to snow ski. If you haven't you may want to start there first. This time Mom, Sis and I are in Gatlinburg, TN.
Sitting in our cabin on a mountain, waiting for bears to come eat us, we tried to come up with a game plan for the day. We all had different ideas about what we should do...Mom: Shopping, Sis: Titanic Museum, Me: Zip Lining. No matter what I said, how I begged and threatened, they refused to go with me. They'll try skiing, not zipping? That should have been my first clue.
My sister hops out at the museum with a "Good luck!". Mom is dropped off at the vacation must shop store, TJ Maxx, with an "I should have dropped you off. That way when you're broken body is laying somewhere on a mountain side Sis and I could have the car to make it back to the cabin." Thanks Mom! I'm determined to "zip". I'm looking forward to a new adventure. I'm....there. I get out of the vehicle as a woman goes screaming down a line in the air. My second clue?
I'm still excited but, now serious nervousness has set in. My group starts getting gear on with the help of our two guides. Harness: check. Helmet: check. Gloves: check. At 47 years old, I am by far the oldest of the group. The youngest, an 18 year old, young woman, and I pair up. The other six people with us are in their early to mid twenties and are friends. They also have experience. My new young friend and I don't. I'm still doing well though...until the hair raising ride up the side of a mountain in an open, souped-up type of golf cart. I'm going to die and I'm still on the ground! Our driver got distracted by a squirrel just as he needed to turn or fall over the side of the mountain. Luckily for all of us on board, I can be rather vocal when scared. "Turn, dammit, turn!" is effective, especially when screamed by a large, scared woman who is sitting on the side of the cart that is staring down the mountain side. My young partner, when she's able to breath again, quietly thanks me.
At the top we listen to the guides explain safety and stopping procedures. Well, I tried to listen. I'm busy staring at the first line we are to zip. Excitement? Nope. Scared? Yep. Rethinking this whole situation? Hell yes! The ONLY thing stopping me from calling this whole thing off is that I told so many people at home I was going to "zip". I couldn't go back without trying it. Death before dishonor. Screw that. I tell one of the guides I'm not going. Call the driver back to get me. I should have said it quietly...now the young woman is rethinking possible death. Crap! Now I feel bad and agree to try the first line (out of 6 for over 2000' of zipping). Up the first tower we go. My young friend goes first. Dang! She looks like a pro! Next up...me. I get snapped on to the lines (double lines for safety) and push off. About 1/2 way down, when I should start slowing down, I realize I didn't hear a word that was said about how to stop. Double damn. I did hear the loud BANG as I slammed in to the metal tower. I was in pain, my right leg injured, but I was stopped. Effective yet, not what anyone, by any standard could call graceful. When determined I was not seriously injured, everyone laughed rather longer than I felt was necessary. I, on the other hand, was determined to get the hell off of that tower and walk back if I had too. Third clue, I'm out.
One of the guides tells me that I need to do better on the next line, because the third is very fast. If I can't master stopping by then he will have to tandem me. The threats, curses and crying stop before they start. The pain...what pain? This 30 (+/-) year old man is hot! And if I screw up again he is going to tether his body to mine? I am 47, soon to be 48, and will probably never hold a body like that against mine again. Okay, I'm giving this another shot. Snap, snap, push off. Crap! I've mastered stopping. I've come to a complete halt about 20' from the next tower. I hand over hand until I reach it. The guide (and everyone) cheers for me. I think he was relieved he didn't have to tandem. I'm crying on the inside for the chance I've lost and the PAIN that has resumed.
I finish the last four lines. And, I do it in style. On the side by side race lines I blew my opponent away. I can land on my feet, on the tower, without assistance from the guide. I can go as slow or fast as I want AND stop when needed. I'm limping and badly bruised. I am laughing my fool head off. As we climbed back into the souped-up cart to head back the guide throws his arm around me and says, "See? We slam you in to one tower and you turn into a professional. Fast learner..." No, not really. Because I want to zip again!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Smoky Mountains
I'm too tired to post a story. But, here are some photos I took of the Smoky Mountains... the setting of my next adventure.
Friday, September 9, 2011
They Told Us We Couldn't Do It...
There will be no order to the stories I relate to you. They will be added as I think of them and which one makes me laugh at that time. Yes, I will be "remembering" them. But, I hope they help you to choose to do rather than wish you had done. I welcome all stories of going beyond what you thought you could do, no matter your age now or then. Leave a comment and inspire...
I don't know what started the conversation. But, somewhere in there my friend, Bev, and I were told we couldn't do it. What is it? Take a boat out on a lake and manage to not kill ourselves or an innocent bystander. What is so hard about that? Well, neither of us had ever been the captain of a boat, ran a motor or even backed one into water. We had always been the first mates. You know... the ones who went along for the ride and had all of our fish, bait and tackle taken care of by either my husband or her children. I can see (now) why we were told we couldn't do it. I'm glad we didn't think it completely through when we were challenged.
I have to admit we cheated. My husband's boat was already hooked to his truck when we took off. Driving wasn't a big deal. I didn't look in the rear view mirror the entire way. We were relieved everything was still there when we arrived an hour later at my family's favorite lake. Another thing I should have thought about is that particular lake has narrow, steep roads leading back to the dock. Stopping at the bait shop was a bad idea too. I thought there was enough room to just do a big U-turn if I pulled to the far side of the lot. I was wrong. I spent approximately 20 minutes trying to get out of that damn place. Obviously 20 minutes is the grace period...a man knocked on the window and said "Please let me help.". Bev, doubled over with laughter in the passenger seat, pointed out that technically it wouldn't be cheating because we weren't actually at the water yet. I allowed our hero in shining white legs and cut-offs to point us in the right direction.
Now comes the official first test. I had to back the boat into the water. Bev hops out onto the dock ready to point me in the right direction as I back down the ramp. "That way..no, that way!" I look in the mirror to see WHICH way "that way" is and she's not pointing anywhere. So, up the ramp I go to try again. I slowly back down...That (hahaha) way...HAHAHA....that...hahaha...thump!" Ummm...thump:? I throw the truck in park and jump out to see if my friend needs help. Nope. She is fine. She is lying on the dock holding her stomach laughing like a fool. She is going to be of no assistance and is now an ex-friend. After three more tries I get the boat into the water while my ex-friend is still lying on the dock trying to breath between the gales of laughter.
HA! Take that you ex-friend, I did it without you! I unhook the boat and try to let out the rope holding it to the trailer. I try again...I try again. The handle is hitting the boat and not letting me "unreel" it. Another knight in cut-offs comes to the rescue. He asks if he can help. Again I don't feel that it is cheating, I just consider HIM my new friend. Well, until he puts the boat back up where it belongs and hooks it to the trailer. I explain that I was trying to put it IN the water. He looks at my ex-friend, at me, at the boat, at the new Chevy truck, then back at me. He asks, "Are you married?". I reply, "Yes.". He looks at everything again, then asks, "Does your husband know you have this truck and boat?" Really? I know it was going bad but, that bad? Sighing a yes he knows, I am now determined to get that damn boat in the water even if I have to drive the truck around the bottom of the lake. But, the now ex-hero, ex-friend man comes through and gets it in the water. Ex-friend Bev is now running for the outhouse. I hope there is a huge snake in there!
By the time Bev gets back out onto the dock I have the truck parked and I'm sitting in the place of honor at the motor. Bev drops to the dock on her hands and knees. What? She crawls her upper body into the boat, her butt straight up in the air and her knees still on the dock.
Me: Ummm...what are you doing?
Her: Getting in the boat.
Me: Ummm....okay.
5 minutes later...
Me: Are you getting in? Your butt is getting quite a bit of attention.
Bev: What? Who?
Me: The two groups of men waiting to take off.
Bev: Who? (and falls into the boat trying to see behind her)
Now laying in the bottom of the boat she accuses me of lying about the men. Now laying in the bottom of the boat I'm laughing so hard I can barely get out "Yes!". She's my best friend again.
Being my first time operating a boat motor, I wisely choose the trolling motor. Maybe later I'll graduate to the gas motor. For now I'm confident even I can figure out the trolling motor! We push off from the dock, I crank the motor to 3 (out of 5) and promptly ram the dock, in reverse. Okay, this is going to take more thought than I had...well...thought. I will give kudos to the crowd of men that actually were there at this time. I received more helpful advice than I could take in at one time. What finally stood out was that everything would be the reverse of what I believed it to be. If I wanted to go left, I turned the motor right, right to go left and the handle left / right for forward / reverse. I'm doing good, we're almost to the middle of the lake before I realize Bev has a death grip on the sides of the boat. Now what?
"Bev?" "Yes, Julie?" "Are you ok?" "Yes, why?" "You have a death grip on the boat." "Yes, I know." "Why?" "Because, I'm scared of boats." Now you have to wonder about a woman that is scared of boats getting into one with someone she knew had NEVER DRIVEN ONE BEFORE! I know I did. Her response to my questioning her about it..."I knew it would be an adventure!"
Things went fairly smooth for a while after that. There were three groups of men that would go by us every once in a while to make sure we were okay, but never interfered. One even offered us a whistle to blow if we had any trouble and they would come help immediately. We thanked them and decided to drop anchors where we were to do some fishing. I turned the motor off, dropped my anchor and... spun in circles... and more circles. Bev didn't realize she was supposed to drop her anchor too. I didn't realized I hadn't turned the motor completely off. Bev finally gets her anchor in and we start fishing. The helpful men got their reward. They had seen the whole thing and couldn't go yet as their driver was laughing to hard. They finally left with a laugh and a "remember the whistle". They did not have to add "if there is trouble or something like that for us to see again.". They are now officially ex-helpful men!
We did catch some fish. We did throw them back. Our challenge did not include gutting fish. YUCK! I only had to back up twice to get the trailer in the right spot to load the boat. And, best of all we made it home with everything we had left with. We were told we couldn't do it. We did it (with a minimum of cheating, which doesn't count because we COULD have completed everything). We laughed ourselves silly, tried something we never had before and met some awesome people. Best of all my husband had faith in me and gave me his new truck and boat to create an adventure!
I don't know what started the conversation. But, somewhere in there my friend, Bev, and I were told we couldn't do it. What is it? Take a boat out on a lake and manage to not kill ourselves or an innocent bystander. What is so hard about that? Well, neither of us had ever been the captain of a boat, ran a motor or even backed one into water. We had always been the first mates. You know... the ones who went along for the ride and had all of our fish, bait and tackle taken care of by either my husband or her children. I can see (now) why we were told we couldn't do it. I'm glad we didn't think it completely through when we were challenged.
I have to admit we cheated. My husband's boat was already hooked to his truck when we took off. Driving wasn't a big deal. I didn't look in the rear view mirror the entire way. We were relieved everything was still there when we arrived an hour later at my family's favorite lake. Another thing I should have thought about is that particular lake has narrow, steep roads leading back to the dock. Stopping at the bait shop was a bad idea too. I thought there was enough room to just do a big U-turn if I pulled to the far side of the lot. I was wrong. I spent approximately 20 minutes trying to get out of that damn place. Obviously 20 minutes is the grace period...a man knocked on the window and said "Please let me help.". Bev, doubled over with laughter in the passenger seat, pointed out that technically it wouldn't be cheating because we weren't actually at the water yet. I allowed our hero in shining white legs and cut-offs to point us in the right direction.
Now comes the official first test. I had to back the boat into the water. Bev hops out onto the dock ready to point me in the right direction as I back down the ramp. "That way..no, that way!" I look in the mirror to see WHICH way "that way" is and she's not pointing anywhere. So, up the ramp I go to try again. I slowly back down...That (hahaha) way...HAHAHA....that...hahaha...thump!" Ummm...thump:? I throw the truck in park and jump out to see if my friend needs help. Nope. She is fine. She is lying on the dock holding her stomach laughing like a fool. She is going to be of no assistance and is now an ex-friend. After three more tries I get the boat into the water while my ex-friend is still lying on the dock trying to breath between the gales of laughter.
HA! Take that you ex-friend, I did it without you! I unhook the boat and try to let out the rope holding it to the trailer. I try again...I try again. The handle is hitting the boat and not letting me "unreel" it. Another knight in cut-offs comes to the rescue. He asks if he can help. Again I don't feel that it is cheating, I just consider HIM my new friend. Well, until he puts the boat back up where it belongs and hooks it to the trailer. I explain that I was trying to put it IN the water. He looks at my ex-friend, at me, at the boat, at the new Chevy truck, then back at me. He asks, "Are you married?". I reply, "Yes.". He looks at everything again, then asks, "Does your husband know you have this truck and boat?" Really? I know it was going bad but, that bad? Sighing a yes he knows, I am now determined to get that damn boat in the water even if I have to drive the truck around the bottom of the lake. But, the now ex-hero, ex-friend man comes through and gets it in the water. Ex-friend Bev is now running for the outhouse. I hope there is a huge snake in there!
By the time Bev gets back out onto the dock I have the truck parked and I'm sitting in the place of honor at the motor. Bev drops to the dock on her hands and knees. What? She crawls her upper body into the boat, her butt straight up in the air and her knees still on the dock.
Me: Ummm...what are you doing?
Her: Getting in the boat.
Me: Ummm....okay.
5 minutes later...
Me: Are you getting in? Your butt is getting quite a bit of attention.
Bev: What? Who?
Me: The two groups of men waiting to take off.
Bev: Who? (and falls into the boat trying to see behind her)
Now laying in the bottom of the boat she accuses me of lying about the men. Now laying in the bottom of the boat I'm laughing so hard I can barely get out "Yes!". She's my best friend again.
Being my first time operating a boat motor, I wisely choose the trolling motor. Maybe later I'll graduate to the gas motor. For now I'm confident even I can figure out the trolling motor! We push off from the dock, I crank the motor to 3 (out of 5) and promptly ram the dock, in reverse. Okay, this is going to take more thought than I had...well...thought. I will give kudos to the crowd of men that actually were there at this time. I received more helpful advice than I could take in at one time. What finally stood out was that everything would be the reverse of what I believed it to be. If I wanted to go left, I turned the motor right, right to go left and the handle left / right for forward / reverse. I'm doing good, we're almost to the middle of the lake before I realize Bev has a death grip on the sides of the boat. Now what?
"Bev?" "Yes, Julie?" "Are you ok?" "Yes, why?" "You have a death grip on the boat." "Yes, I know." "Why?" "Because, I'm scared of boats." Now you have to wonder about a woman that is scared of boats getting into one with someone she knew had NEVER DRIVEN ONE BEFORE! I know I did. Her response to my questioning her about it..."I knew it would be an adventure!"
Things went fairly smooth for a while after that. There were three groups of men that would go by us every once in a while to make sure we were okay, but never interfered. One even offered us a whistle to blow if we had any trouble and they would come help immediately. We thanked them and decided to drop anchors where we were to do some fishing. I turned the motor off, dropped my anchor and... spun in circles... and more circles. Bev didn't realize she was supposed to drop her anchor too. I didn't realized I hadn't turned the motor completely off. Bev finally gets her anchor in and we start fishing. The helpful men got their reward. They had seen the whole thing and couldn't go yet as their driver was laughing to hard. They finally left with a laugh and a "remember the whistle". They did not have to add "if there is trouble or something like that for us to see again.". They are now officially ex-helpful men!
We did catch some fish. We did throw them back. Our challenge did not include gutting fish. YUCK! I only had to back up twice to get the trailer in the right spot to load the boat. And, best of all we made it home with everything we had left with. We were told we couldn't do it. We did it (with a minimum of cheating, which doesn't count because we COULD have completed everything). We laughed ourselves silly, tried something we never had before and met some awesome people. Best of all my husband had faith in me and gave me his new truck and boat to create an adventure!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
The Campaign Starts
Once upon at time....on a dark & stormy night...
Actually, it was a cold, snowy day when my 60+ year old mom decided it was time for her to learn how to snow ski. And, somehow that meant I was going to learn how to ski too. She had always wanted to try it.... I hadn't! I'm more of an easy chair, feet propped up on the ottoman next to a fireplace kind of gal. But, what mom wants, mom gets. Now you would think living in Illinois that the skiing opportunities would be, well, non-existent. You, and I, would be wrong. There is a rather popular, well-known place just two hours from my home. Who knew? It seems I was the only one that hadn't....
So, off to this wonderful (yeah right), popular (I dislike crowds) snow skiing (brrrr cold) place that was going to teach my mom, sister and me how to be injured...I mean skiers. Yes, we took my sister. If I'm going down I'm taking every person I can talk into it down with me!
Now picture this: A tall, athletic, attractive woman standing at the top of a high, mountainous slope with her poles set, skis pointing downhill, crouching until pushing off and gliding elegantly downhill. Sigh... that was our instructor and it was the bunny slope, but damn she made it look fun and easy. I hated her. Now picture this: three chubby women (30, 40+, 60+ years of age) standing at the top of that same bunny slope going "what are we doing here?". Mom, God love her, sucks it up and becomes the Olympic athlete from hell! She raises up on her toes, slams back down, thrusts the poles into the snow and TAKES OFF. She goes so fast she zooms by the instructor, who with a startled look goes chasing after her. Mom had been so nervous & excited through the verbal instruction the only piece of advice she can remember is "if you can't slow down or stop, fall over". Plop...she has that down pat.
My sister and I had been horrified, then highly amused during the Mom Olympic event. But, then we looked at each other and realized one of us had to go next. I wisely stepped back and said "Good luck." My sister was amazing....she went about 20 feet, stopped, threw her hands in the air and proclaimed victory. Then looked at me with a smug smile and said, "NEXT!". Of course now I HAVE to outdo my little sister...
I slowly make my way to the edge of the bunny slope precipice... close my eyes...push off... and... What?...I can't believe it.. this is fun...who knew?... I'm actually skiing! It didn't all go smoothly for me. It seems I had a tendency to go to the right...and keep going to the right. The instructor finally gave up on trying to get me to go straight and just had me get to the far left of the slope. Smart woman... her, not me.
Mom & Sis take a few more turns on the bunny slope. The instructor talks me into trying the advanced bunny. After 4 or 5 runs on it I call it a day too. While I'll probably never ski again... I did it. I enjoyed it. And, it was the start of my Memories are for Wimps campaign.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)